I’ve met some nice women on the Internet. Really. And I’ve had a few laughs as well.
When my wife of 40 years passed away I had few opportunities to meet people in a new city. So when I was ready to start a new chapter of my life I turned to the Internet. It’s been a strange, new experience: dating again after decades of marriage, in a 60-something age bracket, and on the Internet.
On most dating sites you post a profile with your photos and information, browse the profiles of others and send a message to anyone who strikes your fancy. If you hit it off online the next step is a coffee date. I now know the location of every Starbuck’s in Albuquerque.
The web site also attempts to match you with likely prospects. Every few days I get a perky message such as: “ABQmomma is a perfect match… she likes cats, too.” Well, yes, but her profile says she also owns a Harley, has a passion for country music and likes men with tattoos. A few of these matches have been pretty close but most confirm the inherent limitations of computers.
I have learned to be more discriminating than the computer. I look closely for common interests and tend to bypass profiles that have more photos of dogs, horses and grandchildren than of the person. Not to mention motorcycles. Women need to be even more discriminating because the dating sites do not verify that members actually are single, and there are some creeps out there.
I get occasional messages from women on the dating site and that’s flattering, but many are out of my age range or in other states. A few are half my age, and I reply politely that I don’t date women younger than my kids and am not looking for a trophy wife.
I get a kick out of one dating site’s improbable ads targeted to my age, gender and location, such as: “Chinese women in New Mexico looking for mature men.” If there are that many Chinese women in New Mexico, why is it so hard to find a good Chinese restaurant? Another ad has provocative photos of nubile Russian women who, the ad claims, are eager to hook up with American geezers. Apparently socialized medicine in the former Soviet Union covers breast implants. You learn something every day.
In my college days, women went for good-looking athletes with sports cars and not nerdy scholarship students. The rules change as we age and women outnumber men. At my age it’s an advantage to be sober and solvent with all my hair and most of my marbles. An 80-year-old friend was a chick magnet in his age bracket because he could still drive at night. And everyone has baggage. I see the battle scars in the profiles of women who specify: “No cheaters! No alcoholics!”
Still, there are some nice people out there. I had a pleasant relationship with a woman whose daughters posted her profile on a dating site: Her first message to me actually came from her daughter. I have met several delightful women who actually were computer matches, which proves that even computers get it right once in a while.